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10 Years Ago- UP IN FLAMES

10 years ago today something I had thought would be no big deal, but in fact it changed my life forever.

It had started many days prior with a common prescribed burn in the area near my town. Due to the winds the burn got out of control and began to approach my hometown. It was called the Cerro Grande Fire. I was 22 at the time, living at home and taking a year to truly figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I worked at the local Middle School. Due to the fire and the smoke in town the schools had been closed all week as had the Los Alamos National Laboratory.

I was spending the day with some friends in White Rock which is a small town down the mountain from my hometown of Los Alamos. I was playing with my god daughter while her dad built her a swing set. I decided to drive up the hill to Los Alamos to get her a new pair of shoes. On our way up the Main Hill Road we were listening to the radio and all of a sudden I hear the Emergency Alert System beeping coming across the radio. You know the sound right? well I have always known it to quickly be followed by this is a Test of the Emergency Broadcasting System if this were an actual emergency etc....

Let me tell you when it is an actual emergency it is followed by LOUD, FAST, instructions and the deafening sound of your heart about to beat out of your chest. The town I have lived in for the past 14 years was being evacuated, not just some small parts that back up to the mountain like before but the WHOLE town. Lauren and I rushed to her mom’s office as it was the lunch hour and she was not answering the phone. We caught her, filled her in and I hurried to get the little one out of a town filled with smoke and being evacuated. I recall standing in her parking lot and being sure to close the car door so as not to have Lauren breath in the smoke. I also remember all the ash falling down and how it seemed like a light snow.

Throughout that afternoon I visited with friends in White rock, made sure I knew where my loved ones were and touched base with my mom. I planned to stay the night with my friends and hoped to go back home the next day, after all the previously evacuated areas were allowed back in each day. Our evening was spent watching the TV and realizing that I wouldn’t be going back home anytime soon, the news showed the town burning, reports were coming in all over of locations and neighborhoods that no longer stood. I recognized houses, and cried for my beloved home town.

The fire burned so hot Firefighters had to drop their hoses and run in some locations.

The 10:00 news put out a call for food for the firefighters, Daphne and I headed to the grocery store to get stuff for sandwiches and I marveled at the empty liquor section. Seems a lot of folks needed a drink that night. (when Los Alamos evacuated most of the town went to friends/family in White Rock) a midnight town hall meeting was held and the news stated no further evacuations. About 1:00am we were informed that White Rock was now being evacuated. The town of White Rock had 1 way out with Los Alamos Burning. I woke up my mom and we decided to run get her stuff from the school. We got over there, grabbed her stuff and headed back for the 5 minute trek across White Rock, except we soon got stuck in traffic and the 5 minute trek became 5+ hours in the car in the middle of the street. Families all around us opened their homes to evacuees stuck in the road for water and rest room breaks as they loaded their personal belongings into their cars. Looking back I think the decision to evacuate in the middle of the night came to alleviate this traffic jam, but they didn’t count on everyone have a watch out or someone awake, so the whole 2 towns tried to leave at once! Finally as the sun began to rise and we could again see the smoke billowing toward us we got out of town. We drove to Santa Fe and were blessed to stay with my mom’s friends daughter, her husband and their TEENY TINY newborn baby. So nice of someone fresh out of the hospital room to open their home to strangers. That’s one thing I learned in all of this, that people help when needed no matter the circumstance.



We spent the next 4 days there and did things like went to a high school gym to pick up our mail. Waited for the list of addresses that were a complete loss, and cried when we saw my childhood home on the list. We had moved from there and were renting it out but the memories stayed behind. We boarded a bus one day and rode to town with the Red Cross, National Guard and everyone who had lost a home in town. Every so slowly the busses climbed that hill, we drove a certain route through town and passed every burned home that we could. I remember standing on my street not able to tell WHERE exactly my house had been, I estimated my front door by the distance from the fire hydrant my friend Hilary had hit when I was in high school. I couldn’t see my 11 trees, there was no longer a balance beam of railroad ties for me to play on. The beam I hit on the front porch no longer leaned a tiny bit. The neighborhood was gone.

A lot was lost that week in los Alamos, over 400 families lost their home, but by some small miracle no one lost their life. And even those possessions were lost, I learned that nothing of true importance to me can be taken away. I will always carry those most precious of memories in my heart!

*A huge thank you to my dear friend Nikki for holding my hand 10 years ago and sharing her pictures with me today! You can read her account of the fire here: http://fivelittlekofoeds.blogspot.com/2010/05/cerro-grande-memories.html

15 years...

April 27th

It amazes me how time can fly, I can remember that day like it was yesterday.

 My mom and I had spent the night in a motel in Albuquerque. It was cold and rainy and we woke up at about 4am in order to catch our flight. As we went to check out of the hotel she drove around front, I walked into the glass door face first, rather then realizing it was closed and actually opening it. I assume now that my mind was elsewhere, did I know what would happen that day? Was my subconscious trying to slow us down?


We pulled out of the parking lot and took a left not realizing we had to cross a median to get to our lanes, we drove a few blocks in the wrong lane.
We got to the airport, hopped our plane, it was a little late and we almost missed our connecting flight. We marveled at our good luck for making it onto the plane... We arrived at our destination and called to check in; everything was going great we were told!

We waited and waited for the Rental Car, a mix up made us over an hour late.

When we arrived we were greeted with hugs and love, we sat down for a glass of iced tea before we headed up to the hospital. I was anxious and wanted to go now.... the phone rang, she answered it and her face turned white...

“He isn't Breathing", “it’s time" "We need to go"

these are the phrases I overheard as I felt my hear breaking.


We rushed out the door it wa very quiet on that 5 minute drive to the VA hospital... We arrived, walked down a stark white and very long, quiet hall. We stopped at the door of a room on the left, we went in, he was laying there, with a blanket on and his glasses off.
I can't recall having ever seen him without his glasses before. I knew he was gone but I wanted to say goodbye, I held his hand and then

for the first time in my life I kissed the body of someone who had passed away

for the last time in my life I kissed my daddy goodbye!

Happy Birthday Baby!

Camryn,

Today is your very first birthday. I never dreamed it would be like this, the love you would add to our family is beyond my wildest imagination, greater then I even expected. One year ago I spent the day as I had the pervious weeks, waiting and waiting for you to arrive. Anticipation was high, pain was low ( thanks to the Anesthsiologist) and @ 3:51pm you joined this world and changed our lives forever!

To say we were overjoyed would be an understatment!

You have been a true joy to watch grow up, you love to play with toys, can really speak your mind and yell with the best of them! Thank you sweet darling girl for being just who you are!

Super Sweet

Very Cuddley

Always Smiling

Playful

Full of spunk

I hope you enjoyed your first birthday as much as we did!

Woo Hoo!

What is That?

There is something new going on around here and Camryn is trying to figure out what it is.

IT'S SPRING and we like it!

The Dress

When Anthony and I visited Walt Disney World with Cassie back in January of 2008 she wanted to wear all of the pretty dresses we saw in the stores. When we returned there alone just 2 months later we bought her one as a gift. A Cinderella gown complete with shoes that was a huge hit! Her smile the night she recieved that has only been captures in one other moment of her life, the one I am about to share with you.

She loved Cinderella so much she wore it all the time; it was a key piece in not one but TWO Halloweens. Every friend that has visited our house has gotten the pleasure of a Cinderella Fashion show. So as the time to plan for our latest Walt Disney World trip arrived Cassie begin to talk about another dress. This time it was Tiana's Dress (the newest princess from the movie The Princess and the Frog.) Cassie is at an age now that she is learning the value of a dollar. She began to save all of her money, asking to do chores and help around the house and saving all that she could. Her piggy bank got fuller as the trip got closer. She worked hard and saved her money for 10 straight months. A quarter here, a nickel or dine there. When she received money in a card for a holiday or birthday, it went right to her bank! The day before we left of Walt Disney World Cassie and her daddy headed out to the bank to change all of her money in and she brought home with her almost $80.00. I was amazed and proud. I never learned to save money like that and I was proud of all the things she had given up throughout the year in order to save her money for this dress!




We arrived in Disney on a Sunday and the anticipation was building for the dress. Monday night we sent Grandma and Camryn to the hotel and Anthony, Cassie and I headed down to Downtown Disney to find the Tiana dress. As we rode the bus there we sat across from three older women traveling together. The three of us talked about Cassie's dress the whole ride and I being the proud mother shared with these ladies the awesomeness of what my 4 year old had done in saving for her dress. When Cassie and daddy were occupied in a conversation the lady leaned across to me and asked if she could give her some money toward her purchase. I was dumbfounded and amazed at the generosity of a stranger wanting to share in her moment and the Pride I felt in my daughter for doing something others found amazing was overflowing. I assured her that would be ok and the woman opened her purse and pulled out a one dollar bill and handed it to Cassie. Cassie was please as pie and thanked her graciously. Another couple overheard our conversations and i looked up to see the woman with tears in her eyes, I smiled at her and she said to me " we don't have any children to share in joys like that, she is beautiful" I thanked her and then her husband opened his wallet and handed Cassie a Ten dollar bill. At that point I begin to tear up. Where else in the world would you find people who share a story offering something like their hard earned money to a 4 year old on a bus. The extra money allowed her to purchase a purse and gloves to match her dress and Tiara! I took down the addresses and E-mails of the generous folks on that bus and plan to send them these photos of our daughter’s night of finding, purchasing with her own money and then thoroughly enjoying her Tiana Dress! I hope you enjoy this moment as much as I did that night!